Twilight Sunset
by Moonlight M3lody
Summary: Zelos' feelings at the night of betrayal


**Twilight Sunset**

Author's note: I don't own anything of Tales of Symphonia, even the copy of the game itself. Yes, I love Tales series but I just can read the game script of this title for some reasons, but I liked it enough. Please be aware that English is not my parent language so send me some feedbacks. Enjoy.

FINISHED: 25-7-2009

POSTED: well, you see it

I glanced once again to the ceiling. For the past 2 hours I've been thinking back and forth.

I've made my mind. Tomorrow I'll end this three sided nonsense. How?

I moved myself to more comfortable spot. Here am I, one of the rooms in Flanoir's inn, one of the most hated place in my list, if not the most. Beyond the window the snow kept falling endlessly. One that always remind me for my painful memories.

Sigh. It's alright now. After all, everything will end soon. Those memories couldn't haunted me again. Soft whispers reach my ears. The words I kept telling myself to deny.

"_Is it the right thing to do?"_

Of course it is. What else I have in this world? I'm tired of living, much to this façade. Living as the Chosen, not myself. If I do this, I'll be free from that damned title; Seles will be free from her abbey of prison. Besides, no one will miss me or even care for me.

_"Is that so?"_

Yeah, it is. Impossible by all means. That brat Lloyd or Dear Little Genis? As if they ever really trust me. Heh. Presea or Regal, or even Professor Sage? Unimaginable. They never take me seriously from the start. Collete, I envy her. Always. She's surrounded by so many friends yet the full determination as a Chosen, total believe in the world. Something I never can do. But she, the same as the rest of them won't mourn for me. Or they will?

Then the last one struck to my head. She who I avoided the most. I tried to keep her away from my mind, as it always proven failed. Damn. She always, always could make me doubt myself. Every part of her turned me to rethink this plan. Her messy bangs and ponytail, her figure, her sweet smile she rarely show me, to her words, her actions, her decisions, everything. She's brave. She may ran away from the past once, but she came back to atone her sins. Again, courage I never achieve.

_Will she miss him? Will she cry for him?_

No, I shoved myself furiously. She won't. For her I just a philanderer, good for nothing Chosen. It must be.

_But how about those rare tender smile she show him if he didn't do something silly? And those times she yelled, lectured him for doing something dangerous? Didn't it mean she at least show some care for him? As friend?_

I couldn't stand for this anymore. I let a tired sigh escape my mouth then yelled with all my might.

"Why am I here, talking all to myself and doubted everything I said?!!"

The door slammed open. It show a familiar features of Sheena, who brought a pillow which I found end up to my head a second after." Because you're crazy! I'm trying to get some sleep!" she muttered, totally annoyed. She also threw some cards I failed to dodge, and then she left.

It gave me some scars. I smiled. She always likes this. Still, I admitted I never hate her. I threw myself back to the not-so-fluffy bed. I can't lie to myself I felt hesitation. How about Sebastian? He's the closest thing I have to father, which I care more than my own true father. What will he say? Another whisper came.

_More people will be happy if you die than the opposite. _

I...want to live...

_You can say that after thinking to end your life?_

She reminded me, maybe there's still lies something to believe.

Maybe I can place a little bet. One final bet.

The next day I woke up early. In fact, I hardly fall asleep. When I heard footsteps, I put my mask to the usual place. I decided to act as I still sleeping.

Knock! Knock!

The door opened." Wake up, lazy bum! We're about to leave," It's none other than Sheena. I opened my eyelids. "What gotten in you last night?" I ignored her question. Instead, I yawning and replied," morning my voluptuous hunny." I was rewarded by a smack and she left me as I expected. Her expression was so cute.

We proceed so smoothly to Tower of Salvation. When we step to the entrance, Lloyd whispered," I don't know whether I could trust you or not, Zelos." I should have known and expect this. That is my cue. I knew it. Even though, part of my heart shattered. It's my fault let my hope got too high. I never have any true friends from the fist place, not that I tried to deserve their trusts. I answered him carefully and cheerfully, trying not to reveal the half broken mask. No one ever understands me or looking deep beyond my façade. They're right. I shouldn't have been born.

My birth was a mistake

My whole life was a total joke

If only I can cry and just let them all out. Those feelings I buried deep in my maze of heart. But no, it's not that simple. And now, they crawl under my skin and probably they could see it too. Feelings of hatred, loneliness, and fallen hope.

"Let me handle this, Lady Pronyma."

I could see how they reacted to my actions. The rest of the group appears shocked, though they never once putting full trust to me. I didn't look to Sheena. Now my mask is totally broken. Trying to regain my composure, I challenged them.

_You're pathetic, unworthy._

_Even when you die you use your 'friends' to do your dirty job_

It seemed so. I won't regret it anymore. It's better than to live without destination, to be something to showed off. They're the first friends I have who could win my trust and make me comfortable as they see me as plain Zelos Wilder. It almost makes me change my mind. Almost. In the end, it stays the same.

My body felt so cold. My breath felt heavy. My consciousness will fall soon. This is the last goodbye. I felt sorry for them then I told them Collette's whereabouts. For the first time I saw Sheena. Much to my shock, tears falling down to her cheek. At last I could see how she felt about me even it's already too late.

Goodbye everyone. The world, Lloyd and the others, Seles, Sebastian, Sheena. I love you more than anything in this life, but not deserved to have yours. I can only hurt you. Find someone more suited for you, you're fine.

I hope you can find your meaning of life, my one and only, Sheena

"Damned...Idiot..."

A/N: Damn! One more strange ending?! But I liked it though. Now that you already read it, left me reviews! Everything's accepted! Flames allowed! Oh, I'm so sad if Zelos must die permanently, but they're kind enough to give us at least some choices. One more, can you tell me how to enjoy typing as I love writing and not typing? -_-;

This is dedicated for my favorites Sheelos writers: SakuMeiMei (Japan?! Aww. I envy you...XD I'm so sad, you're updating less and less frequent now…), SilverChelle (hey, our name is cool), Faux Promises, Inu Liz (somehow, I think I spelled it wrong. Help me!) And Riku Aura777 (keep going!) and my apology because I couldn't give any reviews until now

With love,

Moonlight melody


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